It has been exactly 5 months since I discovered I was pregnant. I still remember the day like it was yesterday. Was it really positive or was I imagining that little line? Or, was I reading the test wrong? Maybe that second line wasn't bright enough. Could it be that our lives were about to change in every way possible and in ways I don't even know yet? The last 5 months have proven to be full of emotion - from extreme happiness to worrying and being scared about whether we can really do this to an overwhelming feeling of love. Today, as I reflect back on our journey so far, I can't help but hold back the tears. Little Peanut will be here in about 15 weeks! I have never loved something so much in my life. To feel the little kicks and know that a person is growing inside of me is impossible to explain or put in words. I can think of nothing more miraculous.
Today, I went from being crabby, worrying about all the little things - money, work, drama, whether or not my house is clean enough, and others opinions, to wondering why I let myself get all wrapped up in the pointless things! Truly...nothing else matters! I am so blessed to have what I have...faith, a supportive husband, family, and friends, and a life growing inside of me!! What else could seriously matter? Nothing. God has blessed us with such a special gift and I feel responsible and privileged to accept it and do the best I can! Worrying about all the little things isn't going to help and, after all, God is in control anyway!
Peanut, I cannot wait to meet you!!! You already bring us so much happiness and I can't wait for you to bring that happiness to others! I wish you a life of love and happiness! I wish you a life free of worry, but know that's not realistic. I just hope I can be the perfect Mom to you! I can't wait to watch you grow and develop into your own unique person!! I love you! Mom
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Nothin' Else Matters...
Posted by Kari at 9:01 PM
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4 comments:
What a great mom you are already!!!
My dearest Kari, everything you said is so true. Not gonna lie, I do get caught up in the hectic moments you spoke of sometimes, even though I know better. When you catch yourself cleaning sometime, and you decide you just can't wipe off the little handprint you see on the TV, you'll know a clean house isn't important, and its good because you won't have time to clean anyways, lol. You are going to be such a great Mommy! Love you, PEN
I'm tearing up just reading this Kari! That is so sweet and loving, you are going to be a great Mom!! It is amazing how a child can make you see everything in a different light! A good light!
You are so right, Kari - worry doesn't change a thing. (I have to tell you that so I pay attention, too!) :o) One of my favorite sayings I read is "parenting is the hardest job you'll ever love". You are already a wonderful mom!!
Love ya!
Great Aunt Kathy
(oh my gosh - I am picturing myself gray now)
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